Projection

I always thought that Sigmund Freud was kind of a strange guy. He had some weird theories that have fallen out of favor with the modern psychiatric community but on the other hand he had many ideas that have withstood the tests of time. Projection is one of those and one that Carl Jung and others have elaborated on. It is also one that I find extremely fascinating.

There are different kinds of projection but when referring to projection as a defense mechanism, it is defined as unconsciously denying attributes, thoughts, or feelings about ourselves and ascribing them onto others. It is a tactic used by the ego to protect us from anxiety. We all do it; it’s universal. While at first it may be tempting to deny its reality and discount it as psychobabble, I think it’s much more beneficial to acknowledge it and allow it to enlighten us.

There are classic examples of projection in the media. One is the minister who passionately opposed homosexuality and then later admitted to having had a homosexual affair. Another example from the news recently is the politician who worked to eradicate prostitution and then got arrested for having numerous sexual liaisons with prostitutes. When we hear about these things we are struck by the hypocrisy but when you understand projection, it doesn’t seem all that unusual.

Those are rather extreme examples of projection, but what about the ordinary garden variety that most of us deal with? How do we know when we are projecting? The major clue is when there is an emotional charge, when it feels like someone is pushing our buttons. Anything that we strongly dislike about someone else should send up a red flag. Whatever it is that we don’t like about them probably will seem the opposite of how we perceive ourselves to be. On the surface that may be true, but in reality it could be an unconscious characteristic about our self that we are denying, or one that we subconsciously fear that we have or have a potential for. Similarly, if we are accused of being something and it really strikes a nerve in us, we might want to take a look at that. It reminds me of a line that is often quoted from Shakespeare’s Hamlet, “methinks she doth protest too much.” Someone who protests too much that something about them is untrue should cause us to wonder if it actually is true.

I have issues with judgment (which you may have noticed in previous posts!) I see judgment everywhere. I struggle with judgmental people and I strive to be a nonjudgmental person. But, as the theory suggests, I must be judgmental, otherwise I wouldn’t be projecting it everywhere. It wouldn’t be such a hot issue for me if it weren’t an attribute of mine. If I didn’t have a judgmental bone in my body, I would hardly notice judgmental behavior or attitudes in other people. Things would just go in one ear and out the other. I might observe it but it wouldn’t really bother me. There’s an expression that goes along with this: “if you spot it, you’ve got it!” People understandably have a hard time believing this is true. It makes them confront the fact that the very thing they hate may be a part of them. If I stand on my soapbox and preach against judgment, the last thing I want to admit is that I am judgmental!

Why is it helpful to know I am projecting? Because when I know about projection it makes me stop and examine my emotional triggers. In my case, knowing about projection should cause me to stop and look at where I might be judgmental in my own life. It takes the focus off other people and what I think they are doing wrong and puts it back on me. It causes me to concern myself with the log in my own eye before I attempt to remove the speck from someone else’s. It softens my heart toward other people. It serves to lessen my anger or irritation with them if I realize I struggle with the same thing. In the long run, I will be better off owning this previously disowned part of myself and may even find a time when being judgmental is useful or acceptable. After awhile, my perceived judgmentalism in other people fades and empathy takes its place. And, I would rather be in a position of empathy and kindness than in a place of irritation and anger. It feels so much better!