Depression

I am so thankful that I no longer struggle with depression. It began in childhood as a low-grade, on-again off-again sadness. Later on, as life became more complicated, it became less low-grade and more on than off. As often happens, pregnancy brought about some physiological changes that made it more pronounced. Added to that were some typical life stressors that people experience – unresolved issues from childhood, financial struggles, marital strife, midlife turbulence, wrestling with spiritual beliefs, a death in the family. By the time I was 42 I knew I needed some help.

I recently read a quote by Rona Barrett. She said, “The healthy and the strong individual is the one who asks for help when he needs it.” I believe Rona is right and I’m so glad that I was able to summon the courage to seek help.

Our inner condition doesn’t simply affect us as an individual. It impacts those around us as well. When we help ourselves, our loved ones also reap the benefits. There’s some truth in the saying, “if mom ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy.” (You can substitute dad, your child, or whoever.) Help is good. Why suffer and bring suffering upon those around you if there’s something that can be done about it? I struggle to sympathize with those who are miserable and yet refuse to take any action to alleviate the situation. Ultimately, it seems they’re being selfish because their misery is contagious to those around them. That being said, I realize there are those who are in such a state that they simply can’t summon the wherewithal to get help for themselves. I also know that in some cases, refusal of help is actually one of the symptoms of the illness and I do sympathize with those people.

In my case, I responded very favorably to the anti-depressant medication and the little bit of counseling I received. It helped me immensely and it felt like it gave me my life back. After five sessions with a wonderful counselor, she declared me “good to go” but the process didn’t stop there. I have continued to do a lot of inner personal work and am just now weaning myself off of the medication. Today, I can honestly say that I have an abundance of inner peace and joy and I’m thoroughly enjoying life. Not everyone has the same experience with depression. I realize there are those whose experience and issues are much more challenging than mine. There are volumes that can be written about this topic and it isn’t my intention to cover all of the issues about it here. The gist of my post is this: I was depressed, I got help, I got well. My hope is to encourage others who may be struggling with the same thing.

Having said all of that, I would encourage you not to take yourself too seriously. Here is a poem that I wrote some time after I started taking the medication. It’s meant to be light-hearted so I hope you enjoy it.

Washin’ down my Zoloft with some Diet Coke,
hopin’ and prayin’ my life is not a joke.
In my heart-of-hearts I know it isn’t true.
So, “why?” I ask my shrink, “am I forever blue?”

Hurricanes & earthquakes, tsunamis & tornadoes,
Drought & famine, erupting volcanoes.
Terrorists, torture, gangs, & war.
Enough. Be quiet. I can’t take any more.

Drugs & addiction, violence, abuse.
Crime & broken homes. Oh, what’s the use?
Watching CNN is enough to make me sick.
Quick, change the channel & choose some other flick.

Stressed & oversensitive, seeking perfection.
It’s no way to live, seek another direction.
Yoga, meditation, aromatherapy, too.
Being one with nature, eating tofu.

“I’ll try anything once,” I’ve been known to say.
I’m continually optimistic that there’s a better way.
“Live your best life,” says my Oprah guru.
“When you know better, you’ll do better,” adds Maya Angelou, too.

Life is a mixture of good things and bad.
So suck it up now and don’t always be so sad.
Count your blessings; you’ve got quite a few.
(That idea is certainly nothing new.)

Thank God above for Zoloft, thank God for Diet Coke.
Thank God for revealing that my life is not a joke.
Thank God for humor, for family & friends.
Thank God my list of blessings really never ends.